French Laundry #2

2008.03.22
French Laundry #2

Last time, I was skeptical. This time, I was certain: FL was a disappointment.

The good:
1. Cozy private room (not without its price)

2. "Oysters and Pearls" (Sabayon of Pearl tapioca with oysters and white sturgeon caviar) - more lovely than I remembered, definitely bowl licking good. Those of us who opted out of oyster really had missed a phenomenon combo

3. White Truffle Oil-Infused Custards with Black Truffle Ragout and chive potato chip - Absolutely astounding course, easily ranks as one of the best thing one will ever taste in life. Double truffle hit that somehow did not overwhelm, incredibly smooth custard, and a potato chip so thin I could in fact clearly taste the chive sandwiched in it. Served in a open egg shell. On hindsight, I think the dinner would have been better served had it ended right there. Unfortunately, this was the surprise course after #1, and though hit the ball off to a exciting start, was the beginning of the decline.

4. Sweet Butter-Poached Lobster - This one made the "good" cut not because of the lobster, which while excellent, is easily matched by other restaurants. No, it was rather the milk-soaked white asparagus from Holland prepared en sous vide overnight. Words could not describe the heavenly experience of ingesting those asparagus.


The mediocre:

Two weeks ago we visited Cyrus, a two-star'er just a stone's throw away. Naturally my mind most readily compared French Laundry with that restaurant.

This was the French Laundry. My yardstick of measurement was sky high, but commensurable with the equally sky high prices being charged, and the reputate that precedes it. In that light, most of the dishes fell into the mediocre.

1. Salmon Cornette - staple French Laundry amuse, wonderful salmon mousse but the shell was overly greasy.

2. Foir Gras au Torchon - classic FG service, very very good FG, but raw quality wise not better than Cyrus. If you are going to be the best, and serve something "classically", then it better be a notch above the rest in pure quality, or you gotta go the innovation way. Cyrus's FG course was, as Gabe and Amnon and Syl will testify in court, irreproachable. As a non-FG fan, my objective judgement would put French Laundry at best on par with Cyrus. And, the portion was way too big.

3. Instead of the Beef course, I asked for a fish course from the regular menu (we were in the private room and had a "special" menu), a belly of a hawaiian fish with mushroom. The details escapes me now, but it was a good dish with subtle flavors. Not bad.

4. Diane St. Claire Buttermilk Sherbet - Tasted fine. But it was a sherbet, with tiny globules of rhubarb which you could barely taste. Where's the punch in this?


The bad:

1. Sauteed Fillet of Atlantic Halibut - If this was at a local bistro, I'd cheer for it. Here, it was a bore. Come on, halibut? I think "The Brew Pub" near my work serves sauteed halibut.

2. Devil's Gulch Ranch Rabbit - Everyone and their grandmother serves rabbit from devil's gulch, here in Bay Area. French Laundry serves theirs with a spot of kidney and a tiny wee little "rack" of rabbit, which may in fact scare some less adventurous diners because it looked like babies were killed in obtaining the "rack". I didn't mind of course, but after the first bit, the rabbit, rack or loin, tasted a tad too dry, and a tad too salty, and again, lacking any significant amount of creativity.

3. 24hr Braised Kurobuta Pork Belly - Amnie got this to sub out his rabbit. If I thought the rabbit was less than stellar, the pork was down right overcooked.

4. Grilled Sirloin of Snake River Farms Beef - I have no beef with the steak, pun intended. But it was just a steak, could have been a Metropolitan's steak, or name any good steak house. Once again, I expected something interesting, a twist befitting world's #1 haute-cuisine restaurant. What we got was a round pallet of potato slices stuck in a star pattern and fried so greasy it would be at home on a Denny's platter.

5. Mrs. Quicke's Cheddar - This is the point where the whole enterprise was lost. Even the non-foodies at the table were looking around for confirmation that this was not a mistake. Three pieces of an english cheddar, of ONE cheddar cheese, laid on top of some roasted vegetable which completely did not complement each other. I don't even eat cheese (I almost subbed out this course too, but thought I'd give it a try, after all if I'm to eat cheese, where better to do than here right?), yet this dish was so terribly thought out, it was a downright disgrace. The plate was also too hot such that the sauce ("Nicoise Olive Oil") was completely dried out on it. I don't care if there's a cute little story behind "Mrs. Quicke" and the composition of this course, the food needs to speak for itself, and the only quality it conveyed was "shameful".

6. Trio De Praline Chocolat - This course effectively seals the deal. I don't think anyone could have expected a more disappointing dessert from *The French Laundry*. A tiny bar of soft, stick-to-your-teeth chocolate assembly that tasted of peanut butter and nutella sandwich. The chocolate sauce was again dried on the plate, and there was a dollop of ice cream. I could slump in my chair and yawn; I probably did. Out of a world of incredible dessert options to do with chocolate, the FL offers this?!

I can go on. We got only 2 amuse's, a crappy cheese puff (no, not like the one I had the first visit) and the salmon cornette.

We got 2 surprise desserts, a creme-brulee which can only be distinguished from other fancy restaurant (or even bistro) creme-brulee by its extra small container. The other was a fine meyer lemon pot-de-creme, which was too little, too late. I don't think the marzipan cookies and pistachio rolled in chocolate powder warrant much discussion.

For Mignardise, Cryus gave us a box of 7 or 8 kinds of candies and treats, each lovely in its own way. At French Laundry, they gave us a bag of 4 butter shortbread cookies. If I wanted Walkers, I'll pick up a box of 8 for $3.49 at my local Safeways! And these weren't even as good.

The service was lackluster at best: we never were asked how anything was; with the exception of one waiter, it was service with a poker face; Cyrus gave us a personalized menu print out with Gabe's name on it. The least French Laundry could have done was put the birthday boy's name on a menu, we reserved the private room after all. I wont even go into the arrogance of the reservation process; suffice it to say there was a 4-page contract and a 4-digit credit card pre-charge involved.

Did the kitchen have an off night? Was it because we had a private room that we got some sort of assembly-line rollout? Neither is excusable. If you are going to be 3-star and be the world's top, there cannot be an off night. Has the restaurant diminished as its owner busies himself with other ventures? Are the fanboys out there just a bunch of raving lemmings? All I can say is, I can think of a dozen ways to spend $240 for dinner at better places without leaving my figurative backyard, and F the hype.

Actual price unknown, roughly $240 pp + tax + 20% mandatory tip.